Gas Station Gary
Reads omens in the snack aisle. Somehow always right.
Says these teams lose
1.Miami
Miss“Miami vs. Stanford — Stanford's already been through one storm; Miami's hurricane loses steam once it hits land. Loser: Miami.”
2.Auburn
Miss“Baylor vs. Auburn — Neutral field, no home cookin', and a bear don't need it. Loser: Auburn.”
3.LSU
Miss“Clemson vs. LSU — LSU's roster is full of grown men with mortgages, not a football team. Loser (upset): LSU.”
4.UNLV
Miss“UNLV vs. Hawaii — Don't trust a line that came outta Vegas. Loser: UNLV.”
5.UCLA
Miss“UCLA vs. California — Bragging rights in a state that can't decide if it likes football. Loser: UCLA.”
6.Washington State
Hit“Washington State vs. Washington — Even the rivalry don't know what day it is anymore. Loser: Washington State.”
7.Duke
Miss“Duke vs. Tulane — Not sure which one plays basketball better anymore. Loser: Duke.”
8.Boise State
Hit“Boise State vs. Oregon — Blue field back home, a prayer in their pocket, and that's it. Loser: Boise State.”
9.Wisconsin
Hit“Wisconsin vs. Notre Dame — Desperate doesn't beat talented. Loser: Wisconsin.”
10.Florida Atlantic
Hit“Florida vs. Florida Atlantic — Little brother don't never win these games. Loser: Florida Atlantic.”
11.Louisville
Hit“Louisville vs. Ole Miss — Don't bet against a fella who already beat the NCAA this week. Loser: Louisville.”
12.SMU
Pending“SMU vs. Florida State — A man playin' for his job coaches different. Loser: SMU.”
